Fitting In, Or Not

Growing up, I was always the youngest in my group of friends. I didn’t go to Kindergarten and went straight to first grade a few months after I turned 5, so I was pretty much a year younger than everyone in my class. All of my friends started driving during our sophomore year, while I had to wait until the END of my junior year to get behind the wheel alone. Hell, I was 17 through my whole first year of college. It isn’t all that fun to have a curfew when you’re in college. Growing up, I never felt like I really fit in anywhere.

I’m definitely not the youngest now in my local group of friends. Sure, my good friends that I grew up with are the same age as me, but with my friends here, I am the old fart of the group. Most of the girls I hang out with here are all in their twenties. I’m 35. When we all get together I feel so old and out of style. They all have their cute, trendy clothes on (it doesn’t help that most of them are tiny little things either) and I have on whatever I could find that was free from stains and fit…even if it is 10 years old. My hair always looks stupid (that’s a different post for a different day) and I just feel like I don’t fit in. Case in point…

This was Tiffany's birthday dinner last May. (And also like 20 pounds ago.) See how I'm the only girl in jeans?

These girls are my good friends, and I doubt they care what I wear or what my hair looks like. Although it could make for some fun discussions when the old farts have to leave early to get to bed and the young whipper snappers stay and play. It is just that I feel so out of place when I’m with them.

But then when I drop the kids off at daycare in the mornings I suddenly feel young again. I look around at some of the mothers there and they look 10 years older than me, but I doubt they are. Even though my hair generally looks stupid, I don’t have “mom hair”. What is it with these women? It’s like they have kids so they chop off their hair to look the part of mom or something. I don’t know. They just all look so much older than me.

I feel out of place there, too. Most of the mothers dropping off their kids are dressed nicely in skirts and suits. Their hair is always done, rather than just pulled out of their face with a bobby pin. They wear lipstick and heels. Not me. I work in a manufacturing plant. The office staff is supposed to dress “business casual” with jeans on Fridays, but since I never see customers (or even other employees most days) I get away with being just a little more casual than I probably should be. This is what I went to work in yesterday…

Yes, a t-shirt, capris and sandals.

I wonder if those other moms wonder what the heck I do all day after I drop my kids off at daycare? I have never had a job where I had to dress up, and honestly, I probably wouldn’t take a job like that. The place I worked at right out of college spoiled me and we could come into work in whatever we wanted. Seriously, we could have worn our bathing suits. I’m sure a lot of the execs there would have liked that! Haha I honestly don’t think it should matter what you wear. If you can do the job you are paid to do, what does it matter what clothes you have on? Some people don’t agree with me, though, and think a professional should look the part.

Bottom line, I don’t really feel like I fit in anywhere. It’s kind of always been like that. I’m either too old, too young, or don’t look the part. Which is fine. I’m happy to be me. I just roll along and do my own thing. For the most part, I like it that way. I wouldn’t mind someone taking me shopping for some trendy clothes, though. Anyone want to dress me?