I have told you all several times that I am emotional. Well, the honest truth is that I am a cry baby. Big time. Just about every emotion will produce tears. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm mad. I cry when I'm sad. And if I'm upset about something that involves my children, I'm a sobbing mess.
Unfortunately, Rylie is following in my footsteps. She is very sensitive and cries easily. She still cries every morning when we get to school. This has been going on for at least a year now. It happened at her old school and it is happening at her new school. Some days she just does it for show and I know she isn't really upset, but some days, like this week, there really is something going on. I can tell the difference. She has been a little over the top this week and I can tell that something is bothering her.
On Monday when I was getting her dressed, I put a skirt on her that had a snap on it and she went ballistic. She started throwing a fit because she couldn't snap the skirt by herself. She is very independent and likes to do things by herself, so I just figured she was upset that it was a little hard to snap, even for me. But then Tuesday I told her it was going to get cold the next day and she started crying saying that she couldn't put her jacket on by herself. By then I pretty much figured that all of that had something to do with her bad mornings this week. Sure enough, I was right.
One of the things I like about her school is that they promote independence and are really trying to get the kids ready for kindergarten. It seems like they are pushing her a little hard, though. I don't think they are being mean to her by any means, and I know that most of the problem is Rylie, but she gets really frustrated when she can't do something and I think they are expecting a little much of her right now. She has been in the "threes" class ever since she started in September, even though she doesn't turn three until January. Mentally, that is where she needs to be. She has the intelligence to be in that class. Physically, though, she hasn't had the practice time on motor skills that a lot of those other kids have had. So yesterday I decided to call her teacher to see if what I was thinking was the problem really was. Because honestly, it breaks my heart to see my little girl cry. I mean really, just look at this sweet face...
So yeah, I was right. She is getting really upset when she can't do something. They ask her to keep trying and I think it is very overwhelming to her. I explained to her teacher that I understand why they are doing what they are doing, but we need to work together to try to help her and make these situations a little less traumatic for her. I also spoke with the owner Tuesday evening. We talked about how Rylie is still only two, regardless of how smart she is, and she still needs more practice. She agreed with me and said she will talk to the teachers and help Rylie with all of this. I absolutely love the owner of the daycare.
OK, so believe it or not, the subject of the post is not so much that sweet little girl as it is me. When I called her teacher, I started crying as soon as I started talking. Ugh. I can't help it. I have tried and tried to keep from crying in these types of situations, and nothing works. It is so embarrassing! I'm sure her teacher hung up the phone and thought "geez, no wonder Rylie is such a mess, look at her mother!" This really isn't a big deal, and I'm sure that it will be better by the end of this week. Rylie is making a big deal out of it though, and when she is upset, I'm upset.
Obviously, this situation isn't the only situation that has brought me to tears. Like I said, any time I am mad, sad, upset, etc. I cry. I avoid a lot of conversation when I am upset because I don't want to sound like a blubbering idiot. There are times when I really should stand up for myself, but I don't, because I know how I will act.
So I ask you, my friends, is anyone else out there like this? And are you able to keep your tears at bay? How do you do it? I need to figure out something, and fast. As my kids get older, I'm sure there will be plenty of times that I will be upset and will need to talk to them. I can't break down and cry like I do. But I'm 35 years old and I'm still a big cry baby. I don't know if there is any way to stop it.
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